The Steve Carlton Complex

In my amateur opinion, the 10 greatest lefthanded pitchers in Major League history are: Warren Spahn, Lefty Grove, Whitey Ford, Sandy Koufax, Randy Johnson, Tom Glavine, Carl Hubbell, Eddie Plank, Clayton Kershaw…

…and Steve Carlton.

Sorry, Rube Waddell and Lefty Gomez, but you just missed the cut.

Speaking of Steve Carlton, he showed a lot of promise with the St. Louis Cardinals but after six seasons as a Redbird they traded him to the Philadelphia Phillies for righthander Rick Wise. Wise lasted two seasons in St. Louis, winning a total of 32 games, before being shipped to Boston… and then Cleveland… and finally San Diego.

Meanwhile, in his very first year with the Fightin’ Phils, Carlton went 27-10 for a team that won only 59 games all season. Accounting for 45.8% of his team’s victories set a 20th century record that still stands. Carlton also led the National League that year in ERA (1.97), strikeouts (310), and innings pitched (346.1).

Over the next 14 seasons, Carlton won another 214 games for the Phillies, including 20 or more games four times. He also earned four Cy Young awards in a Phillies’ uniform. However, after going 1-8 in 1985 and 4-8 in 1986, the Phils released the 41-year-old Carlton, believing he was at the end of the line.

Sadly, Carlton disagreed and signed with San Francisco, posting a 1-3 record before the Giants also gave him his unconditional release. The Chicago White Sox took a chance on “Lefty,” but his 4-3 record wasn’t enough for them to bring him back for the 1987 season. And so, Carlton signed with the Cleveland Indians, winning just five games against nine losses with a 5.37 ERA.

Released for a fourth time in two years, Carlton convinced the Minnesota Twins to give him one last shot. Unfortunately for Steve, his record was a dismal 1-5 with a soaring 6.70 ERA. After four starts the following season in which he gave up 19 runs in just 9.2 innings, Carlton’s career came to a screeching halt in 1988.

Undaunted, Carlton tried to latch on with yet another team, but no one was interested in a 43-year-old pitcher whose last good season was in 1984. When asked why we was still trying to hang on, Carlton replied, “Because I know I can still get batters out.”

Except he couldn’t.

As New York Giants coach Bill Parcells once said, “You are what your record says you are.” And Steve Carlton’s record for the final four years of his career was an abysmal 36-74.

I use this extended introduction to illustrate something that President Joe Biden said last week. Just hours after the Hur report was released – referencing him as a “sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory” – Joe Biden called a press conference to deny those allegations. Unfortunately for Joe, he stumbled through his remarks, appearing angry one minute and confused the next.

When Peter Doocy of FOX News asked him why he was still running for re-election, Geritol Joe defiantly shouted, “Because I’m the person most qualified to be President of the United States.”

Only you’re not, Joe. And apparently, everyone knows it but you.

Just like an aging athlete well past his prime, if Joe won’t retire voluntarily, America needs to give him his unconditional release in November.