Stay-at-Home Moms (and Dads) Are True American Heroes

“One of the biggest complaints I hear from young families,” JD Vance said during the vice-presidential debate in October, “is people who feel like they don’t have options, like they’re choosing between going to work or taking care of their kids. That is an incredible burden to put on American families.”

Well, yes and no.

Yes, it is a very difficult decision for many young families to make: should the mother stay home to raise the kids until they are in school, or should she re-enter the workforce as soon as possible after having given birth because the family relies on her income?

Either option involves making a sacrifice but that, my friends, is what life is all about.

The liberal lie that women (or anyone) can “have it all” isn’t true anymore and probably never was. In this day and age, life is a series of tough choices, each of which demonstrates what you value the most. Do you voluntarily lower your standard of living to become a one-income family so you can stay at home with your kids, or do you pay someone else to watch your children during the day while you work to maintain a higher standard of living?

In most cases, it's all about priorities.

Stay-at-home moms give up a lot of luxuries that we consider essentials such as eating out, new clothes and new shoes, expensive vacations, and stacks of Christmas presents under the tree. Sadly, and very unfairly, they are also looked down upon by their more cosmopolitan counterparts in the workplace.

Meanwhile, working moms face constant exhaustion and burn-out as they try to juggle childrearing and a career. And yes, they often wrestle with the guilt of having hired others to raise their kids for them during much of their formative years.

The real question is this: what kind of price tag would you put on the privilege of raising your own children, experiencing their first word and their first step, while instilling in them your faith and the values you think are most important? Is that worth giving up a big home, a new car, and a Disney World vacation?

I can’t make that decision for anyone, nor should I try. After all, I am a man and as such, I have been trained by my parents, influenced by societal norms, and guided by my biblical convictions that it is my responsibility to provide for my family. Has that meant making a series of financial sacrifices along the way, especially since my profession as a minister isn’t a high-paying one?

Absolutely, but I would do it again in a heartbeat… and so would my bride of 39 years who deserves much of the credit for raising three well-adjusted children who have, in turn, blessed us with six precious grandkids.

Maybe, just maybe, if more young mothers stayed home, employers would be forced to pay their workers a living wage because employees would be even more in demand. That’s the way it was for generations of Americans from 1776 to 1976. Only in recent years did the pendulum swing in the other direction. Simply put, more people in the workforce caused real wages to drop.

It’s called the law of supply and demand.

And maybe, just maybe, the policymakers in Washington could show a little compassion – and a lot of common sense – by incentivizing stay-at-home moms with substantial tax credits instead of penalizing them for choosing to raise their own kids.

Nowadays, it takes two incomes to pay a mortgage, a pair of car loans, and daycare… or does it?

If your house is only 1,500 square feet instead of 3,000… and you only drive one car… and you cook your own meals and pack your own lunches instead of always eating out… and you shrink the size of your wardrobe because you’re not in the workforce… and you pocket the money you would normally pay your childcare provider… you might be surprised how far a single income can stretch.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), childcare is considered affordable when it costs families no more than 7% of their total household income. Yet, on average, respondents to the department’s CARE survey are spending 24% of their household income on childcare. That’s $600/month or $7,000/year per child that you could be paying yourself for staying at home… in addition to all the aforementioned savings.

All I ask is that you think about it. There are alternatives if you look hard enough and are willing to make a few material sacrifices. But, oh, the benefits!