A Conversation with Abraham Lincoln

“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” – William Ross Wallace

In virtually every historical listing of our greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln is ranked #1. Yes, ahead of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Theodore Roosevelt, with whom he shares the honor of being carved into the face of Mount Rushmore. Honest Abe also receives more votes than FDR, the only president to be elected more than twice.

What made the ol’ Rail Splitter so great? Well, in his own words, there was a singular secret. “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother,” Lincoln said.

So why, may I ask, do we make it so difficult these days for mothers to stay home with their kids? And when they do, why do we belittle them and penalize them financially?

Last week, I saw a graphic on TV that shocked me. The average family now spends 44% of its income on housing. Conversely, most realtors, financial advisors, and market analysts suggest following the 30% rule of thumb when it comes to budgeting your housing costs. So, how did we blow that time-tested threshold out of the water?

The answer is less complex than you might think. In the same way that colleges increased tuition costs when student loans became more available, housing costs started rising exponentially when families adopted a two-person income lifestyle. In other words, as household incomes rose, so did home prices, making it almost impossible for women to stay at home once they decided to start a family. That development, in turn, gave rise to increasingly expensive daycare centers, providing yet another impetus for young mothers to work even harder (and longer) outside the home.

According to Care.com, the average cost of childcare today is $18,000 per child per year and young couples are spending an average of 27% of their income on daycare or other childcare arrangements. I am not a math whiz, but 44% for housing and 27% for childcare equals a whopping 71% of a family’s income being spent on just two items. That, my friend, is unsustainable… and Tim Allen, the CEO of Care.com agrees.

“America’s childcare crisis is just that: a crisis for the entire country and it impacts us all, whether you have children or not,” Allen said. “Childcare is claiming a disproportionate amount of household incomes, and a decade of rising childcare costs should be a wakeup call that the system as we know it completely fails the vast majority of families.”

So, what’s the answer? Well, I decided to ask the aforementioned 16th President of the United States to weigh in on that one.

“The answer is simple,” said Mr. Lincoln when I visited him recently at his home in Springfield, Illinois. “We need to make it not only more affordable, but financially advantageous for mothers to stay home with their young children. After all, nobody does a better job raising a child than his or her own mother.”

“But how can we do that, Mr. President?” I asked sheepishly.

“Give married couples with preschool aged children more tax incentives,” he stated matter-of-factly. “And if the mother wants to stay at home with her kids until they are old enough for kindergarten, make that family exempt from federal income tax… period.”

“But Mr. President,” I asked, “Won’t that result in less taxes being collected and the federal government having to downsize?”

“Exactly!” the Great Emancipator replied with a smile. “And I’ll bet that there would be savings across the board for everyone,” he continued. “For instance, studies show that children raised in a loving and stable home by a mother and a father are far less likely to take drugs, break the law, or go to jail. Why, we may have to shut down the Federal Bureau of Prisons because there won’t be enough customers,” he added with a chuckle.

“Not only that, but the number of fentanyl deaths would decline because mothers would be home to provide love, build character, and instill traditional values in their child’s formulative years,” Mr. Lincoln said. “Just imagine an America where drug rehab centers are a thing of the past and hospitals can focus on treating sick people instead of dealing with overdoses.”

“Why, we might even be able to reduce the number of law enforcement officers in the country, not because of some foolhardy Progressive policies, but because stay-at-home moms will have taught their children right from wrong,” President Lincoln added. “And yes, both mothers and fathers should be allowed to spank their kids when they step out of line without being afraid of the government interfering.”

“That’s how I learned to obey my parents and others in authority,” insisted Mr. Lincoln, instinctively rubbing the seat of his pants. “A few well-timed trips to the woodshed never hurt anyone,” he added with an emphatic nod.

“I have one more idea before I go,” the man who saved the Union said with a point of his finger. “If a mother stays home with her young children, we should honor her with a special day each year.”

“Well, sir, we already celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday in May,” I corrected him, feeling somewhat embarrassed for having done so.

“No, no, I’m not talking about that,” Mr. Lincoln countered. “We need to do something far more special, like a parade down Main Street where every stay-at-home mom is celebrated with a brass band, a bouquet of flowers, and dinner at a fancy restaurant.”

“Maybe we could add a free massage,” I suggested timidly.

“Now you’re talking, son,” President Lincoln shouted as my cheeks blushed with pride. “Whatever we can do to make these modern-day moms feel like the heroines they are is good by me.”

With that, the 6’4” former president leapt to his feet and grabbed his stovepipe hat. “Can’t keep Mrs. Lincoln waiting,” he said with a wink. “I promised to take her to Texas Roadhouse for dinner tonight. She just loves a good steak.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t say the theater, Mr. President,” I offered as I shook the great man’s massive hand.